Well, well, well, look at you, lookin’ for tips on handsome male, huh? You come to the right place, I seen a lot in my days, I tell ya. Lots of fellas, some handsome, some… not so much. But I tell ya what, there’s somethin’ about a fella that takes care of himself. That’s the real handsome, right there.

First thing’s first, gotta be clean. Ain’t nothin’ handsome about a fella smellin’ like a goat that’s been rollin’ in the mud. Gotta take a shower every day. Every single day! I don’t care if it’s cold, I don’t care if you’re tired, you get in that shower and scrub. Soap and water, that’s the ticket. Get all that grime off ya. And don’t forget behind your ears! My grandson, bless his heart, he used to forget that all the time. Had to remind him every day. Clean as a whistle, that’s what we’re goin’ for.
And that hair! Lord have mercy, some of these young’uns today with their hair lookin’ like a bird’s nest. Gotta keep it neat, I say. Get a haircut now and then. Don’t let it get all wild and crazy. If you are gonna have long hair, at least keep it trimmed up. A little trim never hurt nobody. Makes a fella look respectable, ya know? A good haircut can make you look like a million bucks. Or at least a couple of bucks. But in a good way!
And while we are on the subject, let’s talk about that beard. I know, I know, all the young people are growing out their beards these days. Some fellas look good with a beard, I will give you that. But it has to be a nice beard, not some scraggly thing that looks like you glued some animal fur to your face. You gotta keep it trimmed, keep it neat. Get yourself a beard trimmer, it will do you wonders, trust me. Or else it is gonna look like you got a squirrel livin’ on your chin. And ain’t nobody want that.
Now, clothes. Don’t gotta be fancy, but they gotta be clean. And they gotta fit! I seen fellas walkin’ around in pants three sizes too big, lookin’ like they’re about to fall right off. Or shirts so tight you can see every little bump and lump. Not a good look, I tell ya. Find clothes that fit ya, that make ya look good. Clean clothes is important for a handsome male. Ain’t nobody gonna be lookin’ twice at a fella in dirty, wrinkled clothes.
- Cleanliness is next to godliness, they say. And I believe it.
- Shower every day. No excuses.
- Get a haircut. Keep it neat.
- Trim that beard if you are going to have one.
- Wear clean clothes that fit.
And don’t be walkin’ around smellin’ like a barn, neither. A little bit of cologne is alright. Just a little, mind ya. Don’t go dousin’ yourself in it. Just a dab here and there. Somethin’ that smells nice, but not too strong. You want folks to think, “Oh, he smells good,” not, “What in tarnation is that smell?” You want to smell good to be a handsome male, but don’t over do it. Remember, less is more.

And your hands and feet! Goodness gracious, I seen some fellas with fingernails longer than my garden rake. And toenails that look like they could cut through steel. Gotta keep ’em trimmed, fellas. Trimmed and clean. Nobody wants to see all that dirt and grime under your nails. It’s just plain nasty, plain nasty.
And another thing that is gonna make you a handsome male. You gotta take care of your body, too. Don’t need to be all muscled up like them wrestlers on the TV. But movin’ around ain’t gonna hurt ya none. Exercise a little bit, I always say. Get up and move! Go for a walk, work in the garden, something! It’s good for ya. Keeps ya feelin’ good, keeps ya lookin’ good. A little exercise goes a long way, I tell ya. It’ll put some pep in your step, and that’s always attractive.
You know, being a handsome male ain’t all about lookin’ like some movie star. It’s about takin’ care of yourself. It’s about bein’ clean, bein’ neat, and bein’ respectful. That’s what makes a fella handsome in my book. And it ain’t that hard, really. Just takes a little bit of effort. And trust me, it’s worth it.
So there you have it, my two cents on how to be a handsome male. Just remember what old granny said, it makes all the difference. Just be clean and neat. And if you got all that down, then you are well on your way. That’s all I got to say about that. You take care now, ya hear?
