Alright, alright, let’s talk about dating them older folks. You know, the ones with a bit more salt than pepper on top. It ain’t the same as chasing after them young’uns, that’s for sure. Things are different, gotta play it a bit different, ya hear?
First off, you gotta know yourself. What do you want? You ain’t got time for messing around at this age. You want a companion? Someone to watch TV with? Someone to…well, never mind that. Point is, figure it out. Don’t go in blind like a bat in a barn.
- You want someone to travel with? Make sure they ain’t got a bad hip.
- You want someone who likes to eat? Make sure they ain’t got too many teeth missing, ha! Just kidding…mostly.
- You want someone to talk to? Make sure they can hear good.
Now, meeting these older folks… it ain’t like it used to be, back in the day. No more dances at the town hall, I reckon. These days, it’s all on them computers and phones. Online datin’, they call it. Sounds like a load of hogwash to me, but folks say it works.
They say it’s like, well, like bein’ in one of them gladiator fights. Everyone’s lookin’ for somethin’, fightin’ for attention. But you ain’t fightin’ no lions, they say. Just fightin’ for a good date, I guess. Seems like a lot of trouble if you ask me.
But if you’re gonna do it, the online thing, you gotta be careful. Don’t go puttin’ all your business out there for everyone to see. And don’t believe everything them fellas tell ya. Some of ‘em are full of beans, lemme tell ya.
There’s this thing they call the “half your age plus seven” rule. Sounds complicated, but it ain’t really. Say you’re 60, right? Half of that is 30. Add seven, that’s 37. So, you shouldn’t be datin’ nobody younger than 37. Now, some folks say it’s just a silly rule, but it kinda makes sense, don’t it? You don’t wanna be robbin’ the cradle, do ya?
When you do go on a date, don’t just sit there like a bump on a log. Talk to the fella! Ask him about himself. What he likes to do, where he’s been. Find some common ground, ya know? Maybe you both like them old western movies, or maybe you both hate them noisy cars. Anything to get the conversation going.
And don’t be afraid to be yourself. If you like to laugh, laugh loud! If you like to dance, get up and shake your tail feathers! Don’t try to be someone you ain’t. If they don’t like you for who you are, then they ain’t worth your time anyway.
There’s some dos and don’ts, ya know. Like, do be polite, do be respectful, do be honest. Don’t be talkin’ about your ex all the time, don’t be complainin’ about everything, and for goodness sake, don’t be askin’ for money! That’s just plain rude. It’s common sense really, but common sense ain’t so common these days, I tell ya.
And don’t worry about what other folks think. If you wanna date someone older, younger, or sideways, it ain’t nobody’s business but your own. Them busybodies got nothin’ better to do than gossip, so let ‘em yap. You just do what makes you happy. Life’s too short to be worryin’ about what the neighbors say.
Remember, it ain’t never too late to find someone. Just cause you got a few wrinkles and gray hairs don’t mean you gotta sit at home and knit all day. Get out there, meet people, have some fun! You might be surprised what happens. And if it don’t work out, well, dust yourself off and try again. There’s plenty of fish in the sea, even if some of ’em are a little older and smell a bit fishy, haha!

Now, opening up and talking ain’t always easy. Especially when you’re startin’ somethin’ new with someone. Best thing to do is start with the easy stuff. What you like to do for fun, what kind of movies you enjoy, stuff like that. And listen! Don’t just yap the whole time. Listen to what they gotta say too. It’s a two way street, ya know?
And one last thing, don’t forget your heart. Not just the one thumpin’ in your chest, but the one that feels things, you know? Love, companionship, happiness. It don’t matter how old you are, it’s never too late to find that. So go on, get out there and give it a try. What have you got to lose?