Alright, alright, let’s gab about this…uh…spandex thingy, and that Kardashian gal, Kim, or whatever her name is. Folks keep yappin’ about her and this tight-fittin’ clothes. So, I figured, why not? Let’s chew the fat about it, just like we do at the porch, you know?

Spandex and that Kim lady, what’s the fuss all about?
Now, I ain’t no fancy pants fashion expert, you hear? I’m just a plain ol’ woman, but I see things. And this Kim, she’s always wearin’ this… spandex. It’s like them biker shorts, but tighter, you know? Makes everything… well, you know… kinda stick out. I reckon it’s supposed to hold things in, like them girdles we used to wear, only…shinier, maybe?
Some folks say this spandex stuff is called “shapewear.” Shapewear, huh? Sounds fancy. Back in my day, we just called it “holdin’ it all together.” But this Kim, she made it a whole thing, they say. She even got her own brand, Skims, or somethin’ like that. I heard she first called it Kimono, like them Japanese robes or somethin’, but folks got mad, so she changed it.
- What’s this Skims brand all about?
- But is this stuff comfy?
- How do you wear it? This spandex thingy?
Well, from what I gather, Skims is supposed to be the bee’s knees in this shapewear game. They got all sorts of stuff, not just them shorts. They got them… uh… bodysuits, like them one-piece swimsuits but not for swimmin’. And they got them… pants too, I think. All made to make you look smooth and… pulled in, I guess.
That’s what I wonder. I mean, lookin’ at pictures, it seems mighty tight. Can you even breathe in that stuff? I remember them old girdles; they sure didn’t let you eat much! But I guess these newfangled things are different. Maybe they got some give to ’em. Folks say they’re supposed to make you feel confident, you know, like you can conquer the world, even if you just goin’ to the grocery store.

Now, that’s the puzzle. Seems like this Kim lady, she wears it under everything. Like them pants… high-waisted trousers, they call ’em. She’ll tuck a shirt into ’em, or wear a fancy belt. Sometimes she even wears them shorts with a jacket, like she’s goin’ to town, but with biker shorts! Fashion, huh? It’s a mystery.
It ain’t just about the holdin’-in, it’s about…fashion?
Seems like this spandex thing ain’t just about squishin’ everything in. It’s about fashion too. I see pictures of this Kim, and other young’uns, wearin’ this stuff like it’s regular clothes. Like them… what-you-call-it… bodycon dresses. They’re real tight, real showy. And they say you gotta pick the right fabric, so it stretches good but still holds ya in. Makes a difference, they say.
They even got them…pantaboots. Yeah, you heard that right. Pants that are boots! This Kim lady, she wears ’em. Shiny ones, sparkly ones… all sorts. Guess it’s the new thing. I tell ya, fashion these days, it’s wild.
And this ain’t somethin’ new, this wearin’ tight stuff. They say it was popular way back when, in the eighties and nineties. Guess everything comes back around, like them old bell-bottom jeans. Remember those? Now, it’s back again, only tighter and shinier, like a sausage casing. I swear!

Is this spandex stuff only for celebrities like Kim?
Now, I don’t reckon this spandex stuff is just for fancy folks like that Kim. Seems like regular gals are wearin’ it too. They say it makes you feel good, you know, put together. And I guess that’s what matters. If you feel good in it, wear it, I say. Even if it looks like you squeezed yourself into a sausage skin.
This here Skims brand, it ain’t the only one, though. I heard of another one called Spanx. Seems like they been around a while, makin’ this hold-it-in stuff. So, it’s a whole war of the shapewear, I guess. Who can hold you in the best? Who can make you look the smoothest? It’s a real battle out there, folks.
And it ain’t just about dresses and pants. They even makin’ swimsuits outta this stuff! Imagine that, a swimsuit that holds ya in. Guess you can look good even at the beach, huh? And this Kim, she’s got all sorts of collections, they say. Swimsuits, pants, you name it. She’s busy as a hen with one chick, that’s for sure.
Well, that’s all I got to say about this spandex and Kim business. It’s a lot of fuss over tight clothes, if you ask me. But hey, if it makes folks feel good, then more power to ‘em. Me? I’ll stick to my comfy clothes, thank you very much. But it is interestin’ to see what them young’uns are up to these days. And that Kim, well, she sure knows how to get folks talkin’, that’s for sure.

Now, where did I put my glasses? I need to go check on my tomato plants before it gets dark.